The Law in China

Back in one of the old Chinese dynasties the towns had gongs that would be rung each two hours: At 8am once, 10am twice, noon thrice, 2pm four times, etc.

The lawyers of the day would stretch out the trials as much they could to make more money.

But the judges became extremely bored with the status quo and went to the emperor, getting a proclamation that all trials would have to be concluded at 2pm.

Thereafter all trials ended with a four-gong conclusion.

Submitted by: Stan Kegel

Permalink: gongs

Category: Shaggy dog stories

Published: 10 September 2018

The Bridge-Keeper

A man was walking along a road one day, when he came to a bridge across a river. Sitting on a large chair right in the middle of the path was a man, dressed in a suit of armour, and holding an enormous sword.

"None Shall Pass!" shouted the knight, in an intimidating voice.

"Why not?" asked the traveller.

"You must tell me why you want to cross the bridge."

"I want to get to the other side."

"Not good enough!" yelled the knight, brandishing his weaponry threateningly.

"Errr, I want to get to the next town," said the man.

"Sorry, but you must give me a good reason, or I can't let you cross."

"Okay. The reason I'm travelling is because I'm visiting my brother, who's sick."

"Hmmm...," said the knight. He pondered on this for a moment, before saying: "okay. That's good enough. I'll let you pass." The knight stood up, and let the man pass.

When the man arrived at his brother's house, he told the story of the knight at the bridge. "I can't understand why he made such a fuss about it," he said.

"It's obvious," said his brother, ......... "It only stands to reason."

Permalink: reasons

Category: Shaggy dog stories

Published: 10 September 2018

Noah Builds Another Ark

One day God calls down to Noah and says "Noah, I want you to make me a new Ark".

Noah replies, "No probs God, anything you want after all you're the boss".

But God interrupts, "Ah but there's a catch this time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, ..... I want 20 decks one on top of the other".

"20 DECKS!", screams Noah, "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say, should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"

"Yep, that's right, well ..... sort of right.......this time I want you to fill it up with fish" God answers.

"Fish?" Queries Noah.

"Yep, fish ... well, to make it more specific Noah, I want Carp, wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Carp!"

Noah looks to the skies, "OK God, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?"

"Check".

"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?".

"Check".

"And you want it full of Carp?".

"Check"

"But why?" asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether.

"Well...." says God, "I just thought it would be nice to have a Multi-Storey Carp Ark"

Submitted by: Sarah Williams

Permalink: newark

Category: Shaggy dog stories

Published: 10 September 2018

The Best River

Two men were having a heated argument about which was the most impressive river in the world. The first man was an Egyptian, and was quite confident that the Nile was absolutely the best river in the world - he cited the stunning scenery and the thousands of years of history around it. The other man was an American, who believed that the Mississippi was better. He talked about the way the river had helped to open up the continent, and the great cities that had developed along its banks.
They argued about it for hours, until finally, another fellow stepped in, and was finally able to stop the argument.
He managed to convince them that both rivers were equally impressive, because, after all as everyone knows - The Miss. is as good as the Nile

Permalink: bestriver

Category: Shaggy dog stories

Published: 10 September 2018