Ghost Dog

In a small country pub, all the patrons became quite used to the pub owners little dog being around the bar, so were quite upset when one day the little dog died.

Everyone met to decide how they could remember the little dog. The decision was to cut off his tail and stick it up behind the bar to remind everyone of the little dog's wagging tail.

The little dog went up to heaven and was about to run through the pearly gates when he was stopped by Saint Peter, who questioned the little dog as to where he was going.

The little dog said "I have been a good dog - so I am going into heaven where I belong!".

Saint Peter replied "Heaven is a place of perfection, you can not come into heaven without a tail, where is your tail?"

So the little dog explained the what had happened back on earth, and St Peter told him to go back down to earth and retrieve his tail. The little dog protested that it was now the middle of the night on earth, but St Peter would not change his mind.

So the little dog went back down to earth and scratched on the door of the pub until the bartender who lived upstairs came down and opened the door.

"My goodness, it is the spirit of the little dog. What can I do for you?" said the bartender.

The little dog explained that he wasn't allowed into heaven without his tail, and he needed it back.

The bartender replied "I would really like to help you, but my liquor license doesn't allow me to re-tail spirits after hours!"

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Coral Reef Fishes

It's well known that some species of fish on the coral reef have adapted to be able to survive the poisonous sea anemone's sting, which gives them a safe place to hide from predators.

What isn't so well known is the story of the single fish that decided to be different. One day he swam away from his pretective anemone, in search of some other hiding place.

A first, he swam into a small crevace in the rock, but he very quickly swam out of there, chased by an eel. Then he decided he could hide inside a shell, so he found a nice big one that he liked, but had to retreat from the crab that had got there before him.

Finally, exhaused, he swam into the coral beds, and hid among the brilliant coloured fern-like fronds of the corals.

The next day, when he hadn't come back to the anemone, some of the other fish decided to go out and look for him. The hunted everywhere for him, but they couldn't find him. Eventually, just as they had given up, they heard him calling to them. They looked around, but they couldn't see him anywhere - he was perfectly hidden by the coral.

Finally, he showed himself, and they tried to persuade him to come back home, but he refused - the coral was too good a hiding place to leave.

"After all," he said, "with fronds like these, who needs anemones?"

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Rich Lepers

In the days of old, when Genghis Kahn's men were running over Asia, they set their sights on further shores. Rather than 'huns', these warriors were known as Kahn's men, or simply, Kahns. When they had conquered all the way to the water's edge, they build boats, gathered their loot, and bravely went to sea. By a sad twist of fate, they encountered an island of lepers, which resulted in most of the crew being infected. Hastily leaving that island, they set sail again, but by the time they reached Ireland, there wasn't much left of them. Disembarking on stubby limbs, they set forth, but were soon set upon by the natives for the riches they carried.

Rotted away, but still clever, they hid on the island and awaited rescue, and the locals never did get their hands on the treasure.

And that's how the story of the little people got started in Ireland - the leper Kahn's and their pots of gold.

Cunning though diseased, the Kahns were never fooled by those who tried to trick them out of their pots of gold by swapping them for an empty pot - thus the saying: "You cannot change a leper's pots".

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The Original Shaggy-Dog-Story

In the days of yore, a knight was on his way to do something terribly important, riding his horse into the ground to get to his destination as fast as possible.

After being ridden too hard for too long, his horse became lame, and seeing a small town ahead he headed straight for the stables there.

"I must have a horse!" he cried "The life of the King depends upon it!"

The stable-keeper shook his head. "I have no horses," he said. "They have all been taken in the service of your King."

"You must have something - a pony, a donkey, a mule, anything at all?" the knight asked.

"Nothing..... unless.... no, I couldn't"

The knight's eyes lit up. "Tell me!"

The stable-keeper leads the knight into the stable. Inside is a dog, but no ordinary dog. This dog is a giant, almost as large as the horse the knight was riding. But it is also the filthiest, shaggiest, smelliest, mangiest dog that the knight has ever seen.

Swallowing, the knight said "I'll take it. Where is the saddle?"

The stable-keeper walked over to a saddle near the dog and started gasping for breath, holding the walls to keep himself upright. "I can't do it." he told the knight.

"You must give me the dog!" cried the knight. "Why can't you?"

The stable-keeper said "I just couldn't send a knight out on a dog like this."

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Morning Monks

All the monks in a certain monastery sing the simple word "Morning!" from their windows each sunrise.

Early one day after several "Morning!" greetings have been sung melodiously into the dawn air, a single greeting of "Evening!" rings out of one window.

In the courtyard below, Brother Timothy looks around startled, and says "Did you hear that, Brother Edward?"

"Hear what, Brother Timothy?" replied Brother Edward.

Brother Timothy sang in reply: "Someone chanted evening..."

Submitted by: Jack Callaghan

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