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The Inflatable Boy

There's this inflatable boy, see, and he goes to this inflatable school and, while there, finds himself having a really bad day. Bored with the lesson, he gets up and walks out of the inflatable classroom but, while walking down the corridor, he sees the inflatable headmaster approaching him.

The inflatable boy pulls out a pin and punctures the inflatable headmaster before running out of the inflatbale school gates. Just as he gets past the gates, he thinks again, "I hate school", and once more pulls out his pin and pokes it into the inflatable school. He then runs as fast as his inflatable legs allow, all the way home and races into his inflatable bedroom.

A couple of hours later, his inflatable mother is knocking at his bedroom door and with her are the inflatable Police. Panicking, our inflatable boy yet again pulls out the pin and jabs it into himself. Later on that evening, he wakes up in an inflatable hospital and, in the bed next to him, he sees the inflatable headmaster.

(This does get worse, you know...)

Shaking his deflated head - more in sorrow than in anger - the Headmaster gravely intones:

"You've let me down; you've let the school down, but worst of all, you've let yourself down."
Submitted by: Anna

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Underground Commuter

A certain young man started a new job in a city. He would drive every day to work, as would most of his colleagues.

The drive was a long one - he had to get into the city through a very congested road tunnel, and it didn't take long for before he had decided to start a ride-sharing initiative with his colleagues.

But within a week of starting it, he found with severe pains in his wrists. They seemed to happen while he was driving through the tunnel - he was fine outside the tunnel - but because the tunnel was so busy, they often had to spend some time in there, and it was quite a painful experience for the young man.

He saw a doctor the following weekend, and he was told that he had a problem that is quite common nowadays: carpool tunnel syndrome.

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Scrooge and Jiminy Cricket

Scrooge was sitting in his office in the week before Christmas. He was counting his money, making sure he had made enough profit for the year.

Suddenly, he became aware of a noise. It was one of those irritating humming Noises that once you've noticed it, you can't concentrate on anything else, so after some time trying to ignore it, he decided to investigate.

He looked all around, and finally managed to pin-point the sound coming from under his desk. Bending down to look under the desk, he was suprised to see Jiminy Cricket, playing a tune.

He crouched down, and said "Jiminy!" (for they already knew each other), "what are you doing?"

"I'm singing you a Christmas carol," Jiminy replied, "but I've forgotten the words, so I'm just humming it instead."

"That's not all," says Scrooge, "You're only playing the first bar, over and over again."

"Well," says Jiminy, "I guess that makes me a bar hum bug."

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Revenge of the Kangaroos

There are reports of a new problem in Australia. Some of the kangaroos have developed a thirst for revenge against the traffic that keeps knocking them down.

Drivers have reported that they'll pass a herd of roos that are hopping along peacefully, but as soon as they've passed them, the roos suddenly change direction, and veer right towards the vehicle. The driver then has to drive as quickly as possible to escape the rampaging marsupials.

Drivers are being urged to keep an eye on their veer-roo mirror at all times.

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Desert Market (or should that be dessert?)

A troop of French Foreign Legionaries were marching through the desert. They had been marching for days, their water supply had run out, and they were on the brink of collapse.

And then suddenly, as they staggered over the crest of a large sand dune, they came upon a sight that brought relief to them all - a market place, spread out over the desert. Rows of colourful stalls, with their banners flapping in the breeze.

The legionaries were delighted. Filled with an extra surge of energy, they ran down the dune to the market.

Arriving at the first stall, the begged the stall-holder for water.

"I'm sorry," says the stall-holder, "all I have are these delicious puddings made from jelly and sponge and with a cream topping sprinkled with hundreds and thousands."

Not to be deterred, the troops move on to the next stall, pleading for water.

"Sorry, but I only have these bowls of pudding, made from jelly and sponge," says the man behind the counter.

The legionaries move on, but as they look down the rows of stalls, they can see that every single stall is selling exactly the same thing, and as they move along, asking for water, they get the same response every time.

Finally, one of the stall-holders takes pity on them, and tells them about an oasis not far away, so they leave the market, and head for the oasis.

As they're leaving, one of the legionaries turns to his partner, and says "Hmmm. That was a trifle bazaar."

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