Cold Vampire

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.

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Mallard

A man was charged with stealing ducks from a local pond in a small English village.

When in court, the judge asked how he pleaded. He replied 'Not guilty Mallard'.

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Wet Letter Day

I got sent a package the other day, but when it arrived it was all damp.

I complained at the post office, and they said it must have had postage dew.

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Beaten up by a Movie Star

He made money sending thousands of junk emails to people, but one day he made a mistake and sent a whole load of them to a famous Hollywood actress. She was so angry that she had him beaten up, and that's how he came to be known as The Star Mangled Spammer.

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Buddhist at the dentists

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused his dentist's Novocain during root canal work?

He wanted to transcend dental medication.

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