Photocopier

What's the difference between a photocopier and the flu? One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.

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Weasels and Stoats

What's the difference between a weasel and a stoat?
A weasel is weasily recognised but a stoat is stoatally different.

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Ten-pun bowling

Employees of the local 10-pun bowling club have gone on STRIKE, leaving the management in diSPARE. Staff say they want to live life in the fast LANE, but have been treated like TURKEYs and left feeling PINned down. "Don't FENCE us in," said one, "or we'll SPLIT." Management say they're OPEN to discussion, but staff feel they're being pushed into the GUTTER like ALLEY cats.

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Best Ever?

Imagine that Cray computer decides to make a personal computer. It has a 5 GigaHz processor, 10 gigabytes of RAM, 5 terabytes of disk storage, a screen resolutionof 10000x10000 pixels, relies entirely on voice recognition for input, fits in your shirt pocket, and costs $100. What's the first question that the computer community asks?

"Is it PC compatible?"

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Long Nose

If my nose was twelve inches long, would it be a foot?

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