Mafia Riddle

Q: What do you get if you cross a mafia boss with a modern artist?
A: Someone who'll make you an offer you can't understand.


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They're calling it shops or "S-Commerce" and it's being rolled out in cities and towns nationwide.
"It's a real revelation," according to Malcolm Fosbury, a middleware engineer from Hillingdon. "You just walk into one of these shops and they have all sorts of things for sale."
Fosbury was particular impressed by a clothes shop he discovered while browsing in central London. "Shops seem to be the ideal medium for transactions of this type. I can actually try out a jacket and see if it fits me. Then I can visualize the way I would look if I was wearing the clothing." This is possible using a high definition 2D viewing system, or "mirror" as it has become known.
Shops, which are frequently aggregated into shopping portals, known as "high streets" or "malls", are becoming increasingly popular with the cash-rich time-poor generation of new consumers. Often located in densely populated areas people can find them extremely convenient.
And Malcolm is not alone in being impressed by shops. "Some days I just don't have the time to download huge Flash animations of rotating trainers and then wait five days for them to be delivered in the hope that they will actually fit," says Sandra Bailey, a systems analyst from Chelsea. "This way I can actually complete the transaction in real time and walk away with the goods."
Being able see whether or not shoes and clothing fit has been a real bonus for Bailey, "I used to spend my evenings boxing up gear to return. Sometimes the clothes didn't fit, sometimes they just sent the wrong stuff."
Shops have a compelling commercial story to tell too, according to Gartner Group retail analyst Carl Baker. "There are massive efficiencies in the supply chain. By concentrating distribution to a series of high volume outlets in urban centres-typically close to where people live and work-businesses can make dramatic savings in fulfillment costs. Just compare this with the wasteful practise of delivering items piecemeal to people's homes."
Furthermore, allowing consumers to receive goods when they actually want them could mean an end to the frustration of returning home to find a despatch notice telling you that your goods are waiting in a delivery depot the other side of town.
But it's not just the convenience and time-saving that appeals to Fosbury, "Visiting a shop is real relief for me. I mean as it is I spend all day in front of a computer."

(Submitted by John Hurrell)


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The Mathematician, Biologist and the Physicist

A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of the street.
First they see two people going into the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.
The Physicist says: "The initial measurement wasn't accurate."
The Biologist concludes: "They have reproduced."
The Mathematician says: "Now if another person enters the house, it'll be empty again."


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Psychic Tongue-twisters

Building up to a really crazy tongue-twister...

  • Robin was Batman's side-kick.
  • If Robin could read the future, he'd be a psychic side-kick.
  • If a crazy guy had a friend like Robin who could read the future, he'd be a psycho's psychic side-kick.
  • If their preferred mode of transport was a bicycle, he'd be a cyclic psycho's psychic side-kick.
  • And if the crazy guy was from one of the moons of Saturn... He'd be a Tycho Psycho's Cyclic Psychic Side-kick.


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A flat Excuse

Two college seniors had a week of exams coming up. They decided to party instead. Their biggest exam was on Wednesday and they showed up telling the professor that their carhad broken down the night before due to a very flat tire and they needed a bit more time to study. The professor told them that they could have another day to study.
That evening, both of the boys crammed all night until they were sure that they knew just about everything.
Arriving to class the next morning, each boy was told to go to two separate classrooms to take the exam. The two of them looked at each other, shrugged and went to two different parts of the building.
As each sat down, they read the directions: "For 5 points, explain the contents of an atom. For 95 points, tell me WHICH tire it was!"


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