Drinking Cider

She enjoys drinking alcoholic apple drinks with her lifeguard boyfriend...
She likes a-cider beside-her sea-sider.

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Category: Other wordplay

Published: 12 September 2018

Old Professor

Pete: "How old is Professor Greene?"
Sarah: "Pretty old. They say he used to teach Shakespeare."

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Category: Other wordplay

Published: 12 September 2018

Buying Computers

Salesman: This computer will cut your workload by 50%.
Office Manager: That's great, I'll take two of them.

Permalink: twocomputers

Category: Other wordplay

Published: 12 September 2018

Military Insults

These are all actual lines from military performance appraisals.

1. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
2. A room temperature IQ.
3. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
4. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
5. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
6. As bright as Alaska in December.
7. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
8. He's so dense, light bends around him.
9. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
10. Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.
11. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

Permalink: militaryinsults

Category: Other wordplay

Published: 12 September 2018