Keeper

Guys, if she...

  • Owns a beehive
  • Lives in lighthouse
  • Plays in goal for the local football team

...then she's definitely a keeper.

Permalink:

Programmer Cats

Hypothesis: Computer programmers are actually cats.

Proof: Programmers and cats are both capable of sitting motionless on a chair for hours, and then suddenly getting excited when they spot a bug.

Permalink:

Not rated yet
Running

Monday: didn’t jog

Tuesday: didn’t jog

Wednesday: didn’t jog

Thursday: didn’t jog

Friday: didn’t jog

This is a weak running joke.

Permalink:

Not rated yet
IDK

My mother just texted me and said, "what does idk mean?"

I said, "I don't know."

She said, "Seems like nobody does."

Permalink:

Not rated yet
Funny Onion

An onion just told me a joke.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Permalink: