Twig in the soup!

"Waiter, there's a twig in my Bird's Nest Soup."
"Just a moment, sir, I'll call the Branch Manager."

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Referees

If you have a referee in boxing, a referee in soccer and a referee in rugby, what do you have in bowls?
Prunes and custard.

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NOTICE

Thank you for noticing this notice. Now that you've noticed this notice, you may have noticed that this notice is noticably unnoticable.
You may wish to make a note of this.

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Normality

They say that I am crazy,
They say that I'm insane.
They say that I'm a moron
And that I have no brain.
But I'm sure I am normal.
Wanna know how I know?
I know I'm not a loony
Because the voices told me so.


...Just thought you should know that.

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The Spell Checker

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

      -Sauce unknown

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