- How not to eat
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Today, I had a patient who had two carrots up his nose, a radish in one ear and a stick of celery in the other ear.
He said, "Doc, I'm not feeling well."
I told him, "That's because you're not eating right."
Permalink: eatright
- Category: Other wordplay
- Surreal Fishing
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Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
Permalink: dottedline
- Category: Other wordplay
- Cheesy Puns
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For some people the only puns they make are about dairy products, because the rest are just too cheesy. When they think of one, they tend to milk it for all it's worth. Usually I don't think they're gouda enough, but we could find a whey to cream off the best ones.
I cheddar to think what they'll come out with next.
Permalink: Cheesy Puns
- Category: Other wordplay
- Birth of a Baby
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A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"
Permalink: pregnant
- Category: Other wordplay
- Coupons
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While handing a 25 cent off coupon to the supermarket clerk at the checkout counter, a woman inadvertently missed her hand, and the coupon slipped beneath the scale and was gone.
The checker looked distressed, so the woman said, "That's Okay, it's in coupon heaven now."
"Coupon heaven?", the checker said.
"Yes", the woman said, "That's where coupons go when they die."
"Only the redeemed ones!", said the checker.
(Submitted By Stan Kegel)
Permalink: coupons
- Category: Other wordplay
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