Terrible Thesaurus

I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's also terrible.


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Customer: "Hi, is that the pizza store?"

Pizza guy: "Yes, how can I help?"

Customer: "Do you deliver?"

Pizza guy: "Yes, of course."

Customer: "Great. I'd like a large pizza please. With liver."



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The Gregorian Calendar

The Gregorian calendar:

  • Monday - Greg
  • Tuesday - Ian
  • Wednesday - Greg
  • Thursday - Ian
  • Friday - Greg
  • Saturday - Ian
  • Sunday - Greg



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Higher Than A House

Did you know that kangaroos can jump higher than a house?

Well of course they can. Houses can't jump.


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I had a friend who used to work at a candle factory.

But only on the wickends.

He liked to wax lyrical about the job; said it was enlightening, but I knew he was burning out.


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