Shipments

When you send something by ship, it's called a cargo.
When you send something by road, it's called a shipment.
Hmmmmm.....?

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Kill All The Lawyers

"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."
-- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI", Part IV
(one of his best lines, that...)

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Getting your proverbs mixed

A first grade teacher collected old, well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.
These are great:

  • As You Shall Make Your Bed So Shall You... Mess It Up.
  • Better Be Safe Than... Punch A 5th Grader.
  • Strike While The... Bug Is Close.
  • It's Always Darkest Before... Daylight Savings Time.
  • Never Under Estimate The Power Of... Termites.
  • You Can Lead A Horse To Water But.. How?
  • Don't Bite The Hand That... Looks Dirty.
  • No News Is... Impossible.
  • A Miss Is As Good As A... Mr.
  • You Can't Teach An Old Dog New... Math.
  • If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll... Stink In The Morning.
  • Love All, Trust.. Me
  • The Pen Is Mightier Than The... Pigs.
  • An Idle Mind Is... The Best Way To Relax.
  • Where There's Smoke, There's... Pollution.
  • Happy The Bride Who... Gets All The Presents!
  • A Penny Saved Is... Not Much.
  • Two's Company, Three's... The Musketeers.
  • Don't Put Off Tomorrow What... You Put On To Go To Bed.
  • Laugh And The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry And... You Have To Blow Your Nose.
  • Children Should Be Seen And Not... Spanked Or Grounded.
  • If At First You Don't Succeed... Get New Batteries.
  • You Get Out Of Something What You... See Pictured On The Box.
  • When The Blind Leadeth The Blind... Get Out Of The Way.

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Unanswered Questions

Questions that probably shouldn't be answered...

  • Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
  • Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
  • If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

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Found some Invisible Ink

Q: What should you never do if you find some invisible ink?

A:

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