Surreal Fishing

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

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Birth of a Baby

A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No!" the man shouted, "This is her husband!"

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Coupons

While handing a 25 cent off coupon to the supermarket clerk at the checkout counter, a woman inadvertently missed her hand, and the coupon slipped beneath the scale and was gone.
The checker looked distressed, so the woman said, "That's Okay, it's in coupon heaven now."
"Coupon heaven?", the checker said.
"Yes", the woman said, "That's where coupons go when they die."
"Only the redeemed ones!", said the checker.

(Submitted By Stan Kegel)

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Shipments

When you send something by ship, it's called a cargo.
When you send something by road, it's called a shipment.
Hmmmmm.....?

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Kill All The Lawyers

"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers."
-- William Shakespeare, "Henry VI", Part IV
(one of his best lines, that...)

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