Bible Stories

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son.

He read, "The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city. but his wife looked back and was turned to salt."

His son asked, "What happened to the flea?"

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Noisy Engine

Problem: Engine making unfamiliar noise.
Solution: Ran engine for 3 hours. Noise is now familiar.

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Driving Prize

A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver that because he had been wearing his seat belt, he had just won $5,000s in the state-wide safety competition.
"What are you going to do with the money?" asked the Policeman.
"Well, I guess I'm going to buy a driver's license, and maybe some insurance too" he answered.
"Oh, don't listen to him," yelled a woman in the passenger seat. "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
This woke up the guy in the back-seat, who took one look at the cop and moaned, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

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Techniques to try when things don't work

Techniques to try when your computer doesn't work:
1) "Audio repair technique" - shout at it
2) "Vibrations adjustment" - shake it
3) "Percussive therapy" - hit it
4) "Hot swap repair" - switch it for someone else's, when no one is looking
5) "Optical stimulation" - stare at it real hard hoping it magically works
6) "Gravimetric adjustment" - drop it out a window

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Recursion

Knock knock. Who's there? Recursion. Recursion who? Knock knock....

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