The Original Shaggy-Dog-Story

In the days of yore, a knight was on his way to do something terribly important, riding his horse into the ground to get to his destination as fast as possible.

After being ridden too hard for too long, his horse became lame, and seeing a small town ahead he headed straight for the stables there.

"I must have a horse!" he cried "The life of the King depends upon it!"

The stable-keeper shook his head. "I have no horses," he said. "They have all been taken in the service of your King."

"You must have something - a pony, a donkey, a mule, anything at all?" the knight asked.

"Nothing..... unless.... no, I couldn't"

The knight's eyes lit up. "Tell me!"

The stable-keeper leads the knight into the stable. Inside is a dog, but no ordinary dog. This dog is a giant, almost as large as the horse the knight was riding. But it is also the filthiest, shaggiest, smelliest, mangiest dog that the knight has ever seen.

Swallowing, the knight said "I'll take it. Where is the saddle?"

The stable-keeper walked over to a saddle near the dog and started gasping for breath, holding the walls to keep himself upright. "I can't do it." he told the knight.

"You must give me the dog!" cried the knight. "Why can't you?"

The stable-keeper said "I just couldn't send a knight out on a dog like this."


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Morning Monks

All the monks in a certain monastery sing the simple word "Morning!" from their windows each sunrise.

Early one day after several "Morning!" greetings have been sung melodiously into the dawn air, a single greeting of "Evening!" rings out of one window.

In the courtyard below, Brother Timothy looks around startled, and says "Did you hear that, Brother Edward?"

"Hear what, Brother Timothy?" replied Brother Edward.

Brother Timothy sang in reply: "Someone chanted evening..."

Submitted by: Jack Callaghan


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Justin the Fig

I met a talking fig tree once. Actually, it wasn't the tree that talked, it was the figs. They would spend all day talking to each other as they grew on the tree.

One of the figs, who's name was Justin became a very close friend of mine. He was rather dyslexic, so sometimes I had to ask the other figs what he was saying.

One day, I was talking to him, and he came up with a phrase "your magic-nation', and as usual, I had to ask the others what he had said.

"Don't worry," said one, "Just the fig meant 'your imagination'."


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Touring The Tower

A tour group stopped at the Tower of London, and were given the chance to try out some of the ancient armour. Two men - one from Prague and another from Athens took up the opportunity. One donned a slightly damaged suit of plate armor and the other chain-mail, while the rest of the group crowded around. But in the full suits, the onlookers couldn't tell one from the other.
"Is that the Czech wearing the plate armour?" asked one tourist.

"No," replied another, "The Greek has the broken plate, and the Czech is in the mail."


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Bear Pit

In times gone by, there was a (somewhat cruel) sport known as Bear Baiting. Two bears would be put into a bit, and have to fight to the death. Between fights, the bears would be kept in pits all the time, so they were used to the surroundings during a fight.

One bear-keeper, though, was very poor, and couldn't afford his own pit, so he kept his bear stuck down the bottom of the local well. (obviously, it wasn't used any more for getting water...)

Many years after this, when the sport had died away, and bears were no longer kept down the village well, a man fell down the well. (No bears, but quite an unpleasant experience nonetheless)

A crowd of people gathered around the top of the well, calling out to the man those typically inane comments like "Are you all right?".

Fortunately, he was unharmed (albeit with something of a headache), so he starts looking around for a way to get out. In the darkness, he finds a series of grooves and indentations in the wall of the well, where the bears have scraped over the years to get out.The grooves run almost the whole way up to the top, and the man starts climbing carefully up the well wall, following where many bears have previously gone.

Meanwhile, at the top, one of the crowd has run off to get a length of rope. He returns, and asks the others how the man is.

"Oh, he's bearing up well," is the reply.


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