Grace and Favour

A man was brought before the king, who said "Off with his head!"
Just then, the king's royal coin designer entered the room, the man leapt on him, saying "I throw myself on your majesty's face engraver."

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Stars in the Sky

A pig lived in a very run-down pig-house.
He looked up one night at the gaping holes in the roof, and said "Look at all the scars in the sty."

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Party Hats

I have two friends named Pat. They're both very artistic, so I recently asked them to make some amusing headgear for my son's birthday celebrations.
Everyone who was there agreed that they were brilliant arty pats.

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Bird Watching

Making spoonerisms is a bit like bird watching.

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Champagne to our Friends

"Here's champagne to our real friends...
...and real pain to our sham friends"

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