London Drunks (Search for similar jokes)
Three drunks were walking past the England National Stadum, in London.(wembly: 48 of 69)
The first one says "Look - ish Wembley!"
The second one says "Nah - itsh Thurshday."
The third one says "Thatsh a good idea - letsh get a drink."
Meaty chat (Search for similar jokes)
This is from a newsgroup alt.humor.puns which specializes in puns and word plays. Somebody wrote something about a lion that I missed, but he mis-spelled 'lion' as 'loin'. In any other setting, people would just recognize the typo (or miss it entirely) and be on with it.In this group you can bet somebody will make something out of it. Below are (highly edited) excerpts of some of the responses:(meat_thread: 49 of 69)
First potshot: I knew tigers were dangerous, but that bit about a large hungry loin taking down a deer was especially frightening.
So somebody else says: You ought to see what the entire porterhouse can do to an elk.
And another: That depends on whether it is a flank attack or not.
Yet another: I wouldn't steak my life on it.
And more: Gnaw...me neither.
This thread is showing an annoying tendon-cy to go off topic.
I get it! All these comments are in the same vein!
Did we hit a tender spot there?
No, he is just ribbing you.
Please, spare me!
There is more here than meats the eye.
Do you have a bone to pick with this thread?
Well done! Which is RARE for this MEDIUM.
...and so it continued...
Coupons (Search for similar jokes)
While handing a 25 cent off coupon to the supermarket clerk at the checkout counter, a woman inadvertently missed her hand, and the coupon slipped beneath the scale and was gone.(coupons: 50 of 69)
The checker looked distressed, so the woman said, "That's Okay, it's in coupon heaven now."
"Coupon heaven?", the checker said.
"Yes", the woman said, "That's where coupons go when they die."
"Only the redeemed ones!", said the checker.
(Submitted By Stan Kegel)
Recursion (Search for similar jokes)
Knock knock. Who's there? Recursion. Recursion who? Knock knock....(recursion: 51 of 69)
The Spell Checker (Search for similar jokes)
Eye halve a spelling chequer(spell_check: 52 of 69)
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
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