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Shaggy Dog Stories (More Random Jokes)

Going to the Game     (Search for similar jokes)
There was once a small stick near the top of a tree in the park, who loved sports. He loved watching people come to the park to play football, or other sports. He was so pleased that he was in the park, so he could see all the games going on.
But one day, he overheard some people talking about going to "The Game". He became interested, and listened intently, and was amazed to discover that even more exciting games were played in another "park" not far away.
He made a decision to go to this park to watch the games there.
So the next day, he dropped off the tree - as sticks frequently do - but this one wasn't dead... he was going to "The Game".
So he went off in the right direction, and after a while he found the place that the people called "The Park". It didn't look much like a park, but there were lots of people around talking about the game, so he assumed he'd found the right place, and he tried to get in.
Unfortunately, he hadn't realised when he looked down from the top of the tree that people were so much bigger and heavier than he was - he weighed next to nothing compared to everyone else there. The people weren't looking out for a small stick trying to get in with them, and because he was so small and not very heavy, he kept getting kicked and trampled and tripped.
Finally, he got into the game, and he had a great time cheering for one side and jeering at the other. But getting out of the stadium afterwards was even harder.
When he eventually got back to his tree, he was in terrible shape (sticks don't stand up well to being trampled and tripped). The other sticks were horrified that he had gone to such lengths to see a game.
"We knew it woud happen," they said, "it's so common, they've even got a saying for it....."
"Tripping the light fan stick."
(fantastic: 41 of 131)

Jumping With The Birds     (Search for similar jokes)
One day, a man decided to learn some new sports. He spent some time finding out what was available for him, but after a few months, he called some of his friends out to watch him trying out some of his ideas.
They all followed him up to the top of a local cliff. Not a big cliff, but still they were puzzled about why he had taken them there.
"Let me show you," he said, and produced from a cage a small yellow bird. He held the bird by the feet, and proceeded to jump off the cliff.
His friends were obviously worried, but he was fine, albeit slightly bruised, and returned to the top of the cliff.
"Well, " he said, after a pause, "I don't think much of this budgie-jumping."
So, then he revealed that he had also brought a chicken with him. His friends were forced to watch an almost identical sequence of events all over again.
Once again, he hit the sand at the bottom of the cliff, trudged back to the top, and said to his by now growing audience, "Hen-gliding doesn't seem to work for me either."
Finally, he tried once more. This time, it was a parrot. Again, he leapt off the cliff holding the unfortunate bird by the feet. This time though, as he jumped, he pulled out a hand gun, and shot the bird as he fell.
The end results were pretty much the same, though, and he arrived at the top of the cliff with yet more bruises.
The crowd waited to hear what he would say this time....
He paused, scratched his head, and opened his mouth.
The crowd hushed....
Finally, he said: "And that's the last time I try parrot-shooting too."
(jumping: 42 of 131)

Noah Builds Another Ark     (Search for similar jokes)
One day God calls down to Noah and says "Noah, I want you to make me a new Ark".
Noah replies, "No probs God, anything you want after all you're the boss".
But God interrupts, "Ah but there's a catch this time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, ..... I want 20 decks one on top of the other".
"20 DECKS!", screams Noah, "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say, should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"
"Yep, that's right, well ..... sort of right.......this time I want you to fill it up with fish" God answers.
"Fish?" Queries Noah.
"Yep, fish ... well, to make it more specific Noah, I want Carp, wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Carp!"
Noah looks to the skies, "OK God, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?"
"With 20 decks, one on top of the other?".
"And you want it full of Carp?".
"But why?" asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether.
"Well...." says God, "I just thought it would be nice to have a Multi-Storey Carp Ark"

(Submitted by Sarah Williams)
(newark: 43 of 131)

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