The Doomed Starship (Search for similar jokes)
There was once a huge starship, called the SS Titanic. It was a mighty cruise ship, set to sail the inky blackness of space.(mangled: 55 of 131)
The first voyage of the immense vessel came. Thousands of people on board - mostly the rich and famous, and of course, a large crew to cater for their every need.
As the ship set off, no-one realised that her fate was just around the corner.
She flew around the galaxy, visiting several resort planets, before heading towards her last solar system. As she arrived, everyone found themselves looking in horror as the star exploded in front of their eyes - a supernova.
Of course, everyone was killed, and although search parties spent several years looking, nothing was ever found of the great ship, except for a single twisted, half-molten chunk of metal that had come from the toolkit of one of the ship's engineers.
The chunk of metal was put on display in a museum dedicated to the memory of the ship.
It became known as the Star-Mangled Spanner.
Revenge of the Kangaroos (Search for similar jokes)
There are reports of a new problem in Australia. Some of the kangaroos have developed a thirst for revenge against the traffic that keeps knocking them down.(kangaroos: 56 of 131)
Drivers have reported that they'll pass a herd of roos that are hopping along peacefully, but as soon as they've passed them, the roos suddenly change direction, and veer right towards the vehicle. The driver then has to drive as quickly as possible to escape the rampaging marsupials.
Drivers are being urged to keep an eye on their veer-roo mirror at all times.
(By Simon Champion)
Demoted Policeman (Search for similar jokes)
A squad car driver was covering a quiet beat out in the sticks when he was amazed to find a former lieutenant on the police force covering the beat.(policeman: 57 of 131)
He stopped the car and asked, "Why, Mike, this wouldn't be your new beat out here in the sticks, would it?"
"That it is," Mike replied grimly, "ever since I arrested the judge on his way to the masquerade ball."
"You mean you pinched his honor?" asked Pat.
"How was I to know that his convict suit was only a costume?" demanded Mike.
"Well," mused Pat, "'tis life and there's a lesson in this somewhere."
"That there is," replied Mike.
"Tis wise never to book a judge by his cover."
(Submitted by Stan Kegel)
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