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The Space Pen     (Search for similar jokes)
During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, the United States' NASA decided it needed a ballpoint pen that could write in the zero gravity environment in their space capsules.
After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of approximately a million dollars. The pen worked well, and even enjoyed some success as a novelty item back here on Earth.
The Soviets, faced with the same problem, used a pencil.
(space_pen: 48 of 64)


Test Drive     (Search for similar jokes)
There was a poor man who had inherited a fortune. The one thing he had always wanted was a sports car, so he went down to the local showroom. Small problem: he had hardly driven in his life.Of course, he doesn't mention that to the salesman, and the next thing he knows, he's driving a Porche at top speed down the highway.
Suddenly, just as he's reaching top speed, there's an almighty bang from the engine, and smoke starts pouring from the car.
So he calls the salesman, and explains that is wasn't his fault; something must have been wrong with the car.
The salesman takes some persuading, but the client is extremely rich, so he agrees to let him have another car.
This time, it's a Lotus. Well, the man was driving this new car - top speed down the highway - when once again, there was an huge bang, and the engine leapt three feet out of it's mountings.
The salesman isn't as easy to convince, but... well, this is a rich customer, so... The salesman eventually agrees to give the guy one more chance, but this time he insists that he goes with, so he can see what is going on.
So they drive to the highway, and the man starts accelerating. He shifts the car (it's a Ferarri this time) past fourth gear, to fifth. Then to sixth. The car is going way over the speed limit, but he keeps accelerating.The salesman is holding onto his seatbelt for dear life. He closes his eyes in terror. Then suddenly, the car shakes violently, the engine makes an exploding noise, the car swerves, and finally comes to a halt in a lay-by.
"What did you do??" yells the salesman.
"Well, I was going faster and faster, and I ran out of numbered gears... so I put it into 'R' - for 'Race'."
(race_cars: 49 of 64)


Aviation 101     (Search for similar jokes)
  • Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory.
  • If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger, if you pull the stick back they get smaller. (Unless you keep pulling the stick back -then they get bigger again)
  • Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous.
  • The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.
  • Every one already knows the definition of a "good" landing is one from which you can walk away. But very few know the definition of a "great landing".
    It's one after which you can use the airplane another time.
  • A helicopter is a collection of rotating parts going round and round and reciprocating parts going up and down - all of them trying to become random in motion.
    Helicopters can't really fly - they're just so ugly that the earth immediately repels them.
  • Young man, was that a landing or were we shot down?
  • Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
  • A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside. It's worse.
  • It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune.
  • Keep looking around; there's always something you've missed.
  • Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs.
  • Gravity never loses! The best you can hope for is a draw!
(aviation: 50 of 64)


Normality     (Search for similar jokes)
They say that I am crazy,
They say that I'm insane.
They say that I'm a moron
And that I have no brain.
But I'm sure I am normal.
Wanna know how I know?
I know I'm not a loony
Because the voices told me so.


...Just thought you should know that.
(normality: 51 of 64)


Excellent Deduction     (Search for similar jokes)
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell YOU."
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, Someone has stolen our tent."
(sherlock: 52 of 64)


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